Why the World Will End if Google Buys Hulu

R.E.M. once sang about this moment. “It's the end of the world as we know it,” Michael Stipe sang loudly. He repeated those words a few hundred times, just be certain that we got the message. Today, we're getting that message loud and clear. Google GOOG wants to take Hulu off the hands of those who currently own it: Comcast CMCSA, through its ownership of NBC; Disney DIS, through its ownership of ABC; and News Corp. NWSA, through its ownership of Fox. Those three entities make up the bulk of Hulu's ownership, but Providence Equity Partners also acquired a small stake after investing $100 million in the firm. By selling Hulu, they'll be given a nice bag of cash to walk away from what could become a multi-billion-dollar enterprise. It's that “could” that has these companies scared. That and complaints from cable and satellite distributors, says the Los Angeles Times. The LA Times also states that Comcast gave up any management control it may have had in Hulu to acquire NBCUniversal. This decision suggests that my fears were correct; if Comcast had been allowed to take control of Hulu through its NBC acquisition, it would have. In essence, that would have meant that one network would be in charge of the nation's biggest provider of online television. Nothing good would have come from that. But if Google is the alternative, we aren't going to be any better off. Frankly, I suspect that we will be in a much worse situation. The search engine giant already owns one major video site – why does it need another? YouTube + Hulu = Yulu? Not Quite In theory, the YouTube brand could be used to compliment Hulu and vice versa. But these two sites are very different, both in appearance, in content, and in backend implementation. YouTube is free and runs on virtually any tablet or web-surfing device available; Hulu is restricted from any tablet that doesn't have an app, and any customer that doesn't pay $7.99 per month for its “Plus” service. Still, in theory, the two should be able to work together. The problem is that they won't. Ultimately, one brand will win out, and it's likely to be YouTube (the bigger brand). That means that Google only wants Hulu to gain access to a part of what it has to offer: contracts with TV networks, a large catalog of TV shows both old and new, and a growing collection of niche movies. Google may also be interested in some of Hulu's technology, but I doubt it. Hulu is a great site, but I can't imagine Google will abandon the YouTube format for something new. Acquiring Talent Earlier this year, Google announced its plans to go after Hollywood. The belief was that Google would pay top dollar for big-name stars, who would in turn promote shows and channels on YouTube. This made it sound as though Google wanted to start its own network – if not on television, certainly online. It was a promising announcement that could have created a new major player in the industry, one that would stand alongside CBS CBS, ABC, NBC and Fox. Google might still dream of creating that empire. And it might still be successful in doing so. But by acquiring Hulu, Google will ultimately want to skew the site in its favor. If, for example, Google launched a new music program with Justin Timberlake, it would obviously want to promote that series more heavily and feature it more prominently on Hulu than a competing music program. Licensing agreements may initially keep Hulu neutral, but that wouldn't last forever. In time, Hulu would become more and more of a Google property – not the (mostly) neutral service it is today. The New Reality TV If you love the homemade, nonsensical videos that make up the bulk of YouTube's content, you might like the idea of those videos coming to Hulu (a likely byproduct of this acquisition) or vice versa. But if that day comes, you can kiss the future of scripted TV goodbye. As it stands now, reality TV has already killed off hundreds, if not thousands of scripted TV series before they were ever even produced. Reality TV is cheap, easy, and it can fill a time slot with relative ease. For every reality TV show that's created, we have one less scripted series that TV networks greenlight. If you love reality TV – if you think The Hills or The Real Housewives are the greatest shows ever made – then my argument means nothing. But if you appreciated the comedic charm of Friends or Seinfeld, if you were mesmerized by the depth and plot-twists of 24 or Lost, or if you have ever been angered by the premature cancellation of a promising new show, then there is no way you should support this Hulu acquisition. The day you have homemade garbage published alongside high-end scripted TV is the day scripted TV begins to die.