He's 22. He lives in a spare bedroom. To everyone around him—including his girlfriend of five years—he looks like any other frugal young guy just trying to get by.

But quietly, he's sitting on a seven-figure inheritance.

In a Reddit post titled "I am rich and no one knows…. AITAH?", the original poster explained his unique situation. "I live in a friend's spare bedroom and pay super low rent while making $53k/yr," he wrote, noting that he works a "relatively low paying job" in a low-cost state. What his girlfriend and most of his friends don't know is that he inherited over $1 million after his grandparents passed away.

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"I have a girlfriend and friends that have no idea… and I have no debt besides a small amount on a truck I bought," he said. "I am super unselfish and would love to pay for the few times I do go out with my friends but I do not want them to get suspicious and potentially lean on me financially."

He's not exactly hoarding the cash. He has $100,000 set aside for retirement and emergencies, and he's biding time until his girlfriend finishes school in three years. At that point, he plans to move out, travel with her, and settle down. But for now, he keeps the inheritance secret—and doesn't offer to pay for others.

That's what prompted his question: Am I the a**hole for constantly wanting to save money and not offer to pay for my girlfriend… or my friends' meals when we go out?

What People Really Thought

Reddit's response wasn't pitchforks and torches—but it also wasn't a group hug.

One commenter cut straight to the awkward core: "I do think it's weird that you never offer to pay for your girlfriend's dinner when you're a millionaire and she's a student." Another pointed out the future landmine: if they get married, she'll eventually find out, and "how you treat her now could doom the marriage." The advice? Be generous, just not suspiciously so.

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And while some flagged the rent arrangement as potentially shady—"Your friend isn't subsidizing your rent because he thinks you're ‘only' making $53k, right?"—the original poster clarified the rent is low by design, not deception. According to the OP, "He enjoys my company living with him and is one of the 2 people that know about my situation outside of my mother."

He also updated the post to set the record straight on his relationship. "I pay for my girlfriend's food and experiences anytime we are together," he wrote, adding, "Apologies for not making that clear above."

The consensus? Financial secrecy isn't a crime, but withholding basic generosity—especially from a partner of five years—feels off. "Now paying for a girlfriend's meal or a drink—c'mon now, that's just proper manners." Another flagged the emotional blind spot: "She will look back and know you could have helped her while she was in school but you chose not to."

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When And How to Come Clean

For most commenters, this wasn't about generosity—it was about timing. The inheritance may be off-limits to casual friends, but once marriage is on the table, so is financial transparency. A few users put it plainly: when engagement is in sight, the "money talk" isn't optional.

And there's a financial reason for that. While inheritances are generally considered separate property in marriage, secrecy can breed resentment—especially if one partner was scraping by while the other was silently investing six figures.

The post may have started with a question about splitting a dinner bill. But the real issue—according to the crowd—wasn't about the meals. It was about the mindset. If the relationship is serious, then the finances are shared soon enough. At some point, silence stops being strategic and starts looking like mistrust.

So no, he's not an a-hole for keeping quiet. But if he's still dodging the conversation when the graduation cap comes off, he might find himself answering a much bigger question than who's picking up the tab.

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