In a recent Women & Money podcast episode, Suze Orman and her wife KT shared a heartfelt email from a listener named Anna. Anna's message struck a chord as she expressed guilt and self-doubt after a year of extraordinary financial success, earning $1.4 million.
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Anna's journey to this achievement wasn't straightforward – it involved facing personal challenges, including leaving a marriage to prioritize her happiness. Despite her professional accomplishments, she struggles with feeling deserving of her newfound wealth.
Anna's email began with a note of gratitude for Orman's past advice, which she says helped her take charge of her life. After listening to Orman's "tough love" guidance on standing firm in one's truth, Anna found the courage to make life-altering decisions, including going through a divorce. She bought out her ex-husband's equity in their home, retaining their favorable mortgage rate and feeling grateful for his support.
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However, Anna's recent financial windfall has left her grappling with complex emotions. Her skill, hard work and her company's stock price surge led her to this significant income: $1.4 million in a single year.
She admits feeling guilty for earning such a large sum when others in demanding professions, such as teaching and nursing, make far less. Anna mentioned that her success feels "absurd" to her and even acknowledged that she's hesitant to share it with others, fearing they may view her as ungrateful.
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Orman and KT addressed Anna's feelings directly, emphasizing that such guilt around financial success is not uncommon. "The number of emails and people I have met that feel this way or come into an inheritance and they hide the fact that they’ve inherited millions of dollars from their family. Yet nobody, not one of their friends, has a clue. It’s like they are embarrassed by money. And it’s not just you, Anna, that feels that way."
She shared her experience of feeling shocked by her early financial milestones, recalling when she received her first $250,000 check and left it on her kitchen counter for two weeks, overwhelmed by its enormity.
The couple reassured Anna that she isn't "lucky" alone – her success is also due to her hard work, dedication and good decision-making. KT observed that Anna recognizes her competence but has yet to fully appreciate the value of her achievements. KT encouraged her to "celebrate" this milestone and share it openly with those she trusts to affirm her success rather than hide it.
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Orman also addressed the importance of cultivating a healthy relationship with money. She pointed out that feelings of fear, shame and anger can become obstacles to building lasting wealth. Orman encouraged Anna to let go of guilt, reminding her that financial wealth doesn't diminish her worth but is simply a result of her choices and circumstances. "Do not insult yourself like this," Orman advised, urging Anna to recognize that she deserves the wealth she has earned.
Ultimately, Orman and KT's message to Anna was clear: acknowledge and celebrate your success. Orman pointed out that wealth, like happiness, is not just a matter of financial gain but is rooted in self-acceptance. By embracing her financial achievements, Anna can feel empowered and continue making sound financial decisions without guilt.
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