Zings Of The Day, August 25, 2011

Apple AAPL co-founder Steve Jobs is stepping down as CEO and will be replaced by COO and interim CEO Tim Cook. This one won't have a punchline. Just a big "Thank you, Steve." The FCC has asked AT&T T for more details why it needs to acquire T-Mobile. Duh. To take over the world. Why else? Diageo DEO offered an upbeat outlook, despite competitor Heineken offering a profit warning a day before. I guess I'll drink to that.