In 2016, I became the owner of a dangerous product that has since been recalled. Considering its significant cost — an average of $4,875, not including “anesthesia, operating room facilities or other related expenses,” according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons — you might wonder why it took me eight years to return it to the manufacturer. Believe me, I wanted to do so — possessing this item made me nervous and paranoid, for reasons that will become apparent. I even consulted a few professionals who I thought could help me begin the process. Each sent me away, condemning me not only to keep this product indefinitely, but to clasp it quite literally close to my heart.

The product is a pair of Allergan Natrelle textured, “gummy bear” breast implants, which, according to the Food and Drug Administration, have been shown to cause lymphoma in a small number of women. Because of the risks, the product was voluntarily recalled and removed from “shelves” in 2019; however, many of these implants are not on shelves. The ones in question sat in my chest for eight years, looking quite perky despite their deadly potential. For those eight years, a return was only possible via surgeons who refused to help.