Five Stocks Elvis Might Have Enjoyed

Today marks the 34th anniversary of the death of the King, Elvis Presley. Like many pop culture icons, he died with a mix of drugs in a system (14 were active in his bloodstream at time of death, including 10 in significant quantities) and a hole in his heart (more or less metaphoric, although he did have an enlarged heart). Elvis was, and I suppose still is, one of my mother's favorites. Maybe it was his voice, which I imagine is preferable to assuming she was in it for his gyrating hips or brazed sexuality. (I can't be the only one who assumes my parents were asexual beings who enlisted a stork to drop me off, can I?) Then again, it might just have been his popular songs and not-as-popular movies that she, along with the rest of the world, was drawn to. Here are a few stocks to consider, through the lens of some of Elvis Presley's better-known songs. He has long since passed on to the giant fried peanut butter and banana sandwich in the sky, but his music has not. "Love Me Tender" Does any stock scream out to be loved quite like Apple AAPL? Apple makes almost every product worth owning, and for a brief moment, was the most amazing, largest company in the world. Who doesn't want to wrap their arms around Apple? "All Shook Up" How about a stock that's moved like a madman today? Renaissance Learning RLRN is all shook up with a 23% up move today, adding $2.75 in early trading. "Jailhouse Rock" What stock saw its CEO locked up, and then managed to rebound while the SOB was in jail? How about Tyco TYC? The stock hit a low after Dennis Kozlowski, former CEO of Tyco was arrested for stealing $134 million from Tyco. He's serving 8 to 25 years in prison, and Tyco is back up from the devastating lows following the scandal. Jailhouse Rock, indeed! "Return to Sender" Was Elvis secretly a stock-shorting genius? The whole borrow stock, sell it, rebuy it lower and return to original sender scheme may have come right from this song! For that, I'd look at an unpopular move: shorting gold, particularly a gold ETF, like GLD. Could gold keep rising forever? Sure. But if it pops, that downslide will be as sweet as an Elvis harmony. "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" Whatever went on last night, Carbonite CARB seems to have woken up with a nice afterglow today. After it made pancakes, brushed its teeth and left, I noticed that CARB jumped over 16% so far today. Nice.