New Edition Of Captain For Dark Mornings By Vietnam War Vet Shad Meshad Illuminates Realities Of War And PTSD

Many people today are familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a mental and behavioral disorder caused by exposure to a traumatic event such as war. Despite observations of mental health and readjustment issues in former combatants dating back to antiquity, a formal diagnosis of the condition was developed only 43 years ago, having been recognized by the American Psychological Association in 1980, following research into Vietnam War veterans. 

Floyd “Shad” Meshad, a captain in the US Army, served as a medical service officer, and a psychiatric counselor for US soldiers in Vietnam. Meshad’s work was used as a crucial component, helping researchers recognize PTSD as an official mental health diagnosis. The Vietnam war was the first time the US military set up mental health units in an active warzone. 

In 1982, Meshad published his memoir, Captain for Dark Mornings: Hidden Struggles Behind the Vietnam War, with a new edition launched in 2023. The book draws on Meshad’s personal experiences in the battlefield, expressing the horror, frustration, anger, and heartbreak he and his comrades felt at the time. The book is available in various formats – hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audiobook with narration by Dan Lauria, an actor who also served as a marine in the Vietnam War. 

“Triage was for real,” Meshad wrote. “I began right there in the OR to look at everything from my past life and past values. It either stood up to this test, or I seriously questioned it. Did my religion only apply to life in the Southeast United States? I had no answers. I had watched a human being’s life go out of him.”

In the final chapter, The World, Meshad shares how, upon his return to the US just before Christmas, there was no hero’s welcome awaiting him and the other soldiers. Public opinion had turned against US involvement in the war. Upon exiting the airport, anti-war activists threw molotov cocktails at the bus carrying returning soldiers, calling them killers and other accusatory names. The military hierarchy also treated them harshly, with the bureaucracy failing them at every turn. Enraged at the poor treatment of soldiers who gave their bodies, minds, and souls in the war, Meshad exploded at a particularly stubborn desk agent, with security having to restrain him.

“It was going to be harder than I thought, this coming home. Vietnam was coming with me,” Meshad wrote. He himself was no stranger to poor treatment, having faced a court martial for having his mustache “supposedly” longer than US Army regulations. While the judge tossed out the complaint, the fact that such pedantry was present in the midst of brutal jungle combat was bewildering.

Following his first-hand experience of the horrors of war in Vietnam and grappling with his own trauma, Meshad founded and led the Vietnam Veterans Resocialization Unit at the VA Hospital in Los Angeles, a novel program that sought to discover and help treat the various psychological scars received by returning veterans. Meshad also co-authored and lobbied for the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Bill and later founded the National Veterans Foundation, a nonprofit that serves the crisis management, information, and referral needs of US veterans and their families.

“It's important for the general public to understand what is really happening in these war zones. It is only through understanding what happened both during the conflict and afterwards that people can truly understand us, the veterans that went through it. Maybe next time you walk past a homeless veteran, you’ll take a step back and think, why? Why is this person in this situation and what can be done about it.”  

According to Meshad, Captain for Dark Mornings seeks to show the public a side of war that isn’t normally seen, stripping the sugarcoating and shedding a light on the trials and suffering faced by veterans and military families across the US. He says the media, the film industry, and the military do not show the real and gritty side of war because it hurts their interests, such as military recruitment and public support for the war. Meshad adds that, while most war movies may depict the hardships faced by soldiers on the battlefield, they often ignore the long-lasting effects of being in a warzone. Meshad says the book was intended for non-veteran readers, but veterans also loved it because it validated their journey, depicting how a single firefight of less than an hour could have lifelong effects on them. 

“I wrote the book to give people a peek behind the scenes, showing them the emotions stirred by the carnage in war. So many soldiers went out there, having to destroy, kill, and maim, while seeing their comrades die. And then, upon returning home, they're expected to reintegrate as if nothing happened. The trauma plays in their heads for the rest of their life and, unless they get treated, the scars will only get worse. All the effects we see today – such as homelessness, substance abuse, and antisocial behavior – can be the aftermath of trauma. For over 50 years, I've dedicated my life to helping veterans get the help they need.”

All proceeds from the book will go to the National Veterans Foundation.

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