12 Hilarious Wall Street Twitter Accounts

U.S. stocks are ending a volatile 2018 on a low note, and expectations for 2019 have also been on the decline. A lackluster year and a bleak outlook is certainly nothing to laugh about, but long-term investors should remember to keep things in perspective. Despite disappointing market returns, there are still plenty of things to laugh about on a daily basis when it comes to the often absurd world of Wall Street.

Here’s a look at 12 Wall Street Twitter Inc TWTR accounts that will put a smile on your face even on the reddist days in the market.

RampCapital - @RampCapitalLLC

Ramp Capital’s Twitter account certainly doesn’t pull any punches, and its followers always stay both informed and entertained. Make sure you have an eye for sarcasm, however, or you’ll have a tough time sorting through the mix of both real and fake news.

At current pace the Dow will hit 0 in ~57 trading days.

— Ramp Capital (@RampCapitalLLC) December 10, 2018

Wu-Tang Financial - @Wu_tang_finance

Fans of “Chapelle’s Show” might recognize the name of this parody account. For the uninformed, the Wu-Tang Clan was once one of the most popular hip hop groups in the world back in the 1990s, but they have since branched out to apply their talents to the world of finance. Or so the story goes.

EBITDA for Millennials;

Earnings Before;
1) Interest on student loans
2) Taxes
3) Drugs
4) Alcohol

— Wu-Tang Financial (@Wu_Tang_Finance) July 18, 2018

Katie Martin - @katie_martin_fx

Financial Times capital markets editor Katie Martin is known for her stellar technical analysis, identifying often-underutilized chart formations such as the “dinosaur” pattern, the “duck” formation or her trademark “vomiting camel” bearish signal. Martin’s success as a technical analyst eventually led to her declaring herself CIO of Vomiting Camel Asset Management.

Vomiting camel formation, Bitcoin.
Bearish. pic.twitter.com/q7EFmeomUO

— Katie Martin (@katie_martin_fx) November 30, 2017

Downtown Josh Brown - @ReformedBroker

CNBC "Halftime Report" contributor and Ritholtz Wealth Management CEO Josh Brown is known for his dry, sarcastic sense of humor. Brown loves to tweet his take the market, politics and even sports.

What's so bad about funneling illegal Russian campaign contributions through the NRA in exchange for foreign policy changes? Last I checked this was a free country. https://t.co/cnj9E9k13m

— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) December 10, 2018

See Also: The Secret Life Of 'Downtown' Josh Brown

OddStats @OddStats

Self-proclaimed retired investment professional OddStats lives up to his/her name by tweeting fun and interesting facts about the market. However, it’s the hilarious commentary that has kept followers coming back for more.

I just found out my Twitter account is 1/1000th the size (in terms of followers) as Mariah Carey.

That's insane; her $SPX charts are terrible.

— OddStats (@OddStats) December 9, 2018

StockCats - @StockCats

Where would social media be without funny cat pictures and videos? Come for the cat memes, stay for the sound financial commentary.

Joe 6-Cat gets home from work after a long week, and logs on to check his portfolio pic.twitter.com/ysv4wF8q6W

— StockCats (@StockCats) December 7, 2018

Quoth the Raven - @QTRResearch

Quoth the Raven Research is a financial research company founded by Christopher Irons. QTR is always good for some excellent market insight on Twitter, as well as plenty of wit and snark.

Congrats to $TSLA new general counsel who signed on last week. Enjoy the job! pic.twitter.com/WSyKvKsWWU

— Quoth the Raven (@QTRResearch) December 10, 2018

Zero Hedge - @zerohedge

Zero Hedge is a financial markets blog that doesn't pull any punches in expressing its cynical views about the world of finance. The company's Twitter account often points out conspiracy-minded theories and hypocrisy among market experts in a brutally funny manner.

UNDER ARMOUR OUSTS TWO EXECUTIVES AFTER EXPENSES REVIEW: WSJ

not enough strip clubs?

— zerohedge (@zerohedge) December 10, 2018

John_Hempton - @John_Hempton

Australian investor and CIO of Bronte Capital John Hempton has amassed more than 30,000 Twitter followers thanks to his light-hearted market analysis. Hempton is also known for correctly predicting the downfall of Valeant Pharmaceuticals as far back as 2014.

I thought the investment management industry in Australia was excessively male dominated until I went to an investment conference in Germany.

Complete wurst festival.

— John_Hempton (@John_Hempton) November 26, 2018

GSElevator - @GSElevator

The hilarious premise behind GSElevator is that the Twitter feed contains transcripts of conversations overheard in an elevator at Goldman Sachs. Goldman reportedly actually launched an internal investigation to identify the employee behind the account, but the brains of the operation turned out to be former bond executive John LeFevre, who never actually worked for Goldman.

#1: Not only did I forget her name in the morning, I forgot what I told her my name was too.

— GSElevator (@GSElevator) December 4, 2014

PHP CEO - @PHP_CEO

Any investors who also work in the tech world will enjoy this spoof account run by the CEO of a PHP software company. The account routinely targets the absurdity of the tech business culture.

DUE TO COMPANY PASSWORD POLICY WE WILL BE REQUIRING ALL STAFF WHO GET THE NEW IPHONE TO HAVE THEIR FACE SURGICALLY ALTERED EVERY 90 DAYS

— PHP CEO (@PHP_CEO) September 12, 2017

Bored Elon Musk - @BoredElonMusk

Tesla, Inc. TSLA and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk is one of the most creative and polarizing characters on Wall Street. Musk famously doesn't have much down time, but when he does, this parody account is filled with some tremendously innovative ideas that may eventually change the world just as much as commercial space flight or driverless cars.

Table top board game where one person reads instructions for a new table top board game and the last person to not zone out is the winner.

— Bored Elon Musk (@BoredElonMusk) November 16, 2018