Zings Of The Day (MON, RIMM)

The SEC said its "flash crash" report will restore confidence to investors, as it will reveal what actually happened on the fateful day of May 6, when the markets plunged, and then came back within minutes. The SEC also said it would update its slogan, based on its new found "intelligence," as it only took 5 months to complete the report. Here is the updated slogan for the SEC. Research In Motion RIMM announced plans for a new tablet, aptly named the "Playbook". If you open the Playbook up, inside it will tell you to short RIMM because everything RIMM does is terrible. Oh, and never run a screen pass on 3rd and 15 when your running back has terrible knees. Shares of Monsanto MON plunged today, after its new SmartStax corn seeds are not performing as well as expected. It's shocking to me that no one would want genetically modified seeds. I can't imagine why parents wouldn't want something unnatural being put into their kids bodies. It just boggles the mind.