Dave Ramsey Reveals The Blunt Truth To A Woman Who Says Her Long-Term Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Marry Her: 'He's Looking At You After 7 Years And Two Children And Saying You're Not Worth That'

In a heartfelt segment on “The Ramsey Show,” Dave Ramsey delivered a clear message to Elizabeth, a caller from Dallas grappling with her partner’s refusal to marry after seven years and two children together. Elizabeth’s story, a narrative intertwining love, commitment and the quest for unity, resonates deeply in today’s evolving landscape of relationships.

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Elizabeth’s predicament unfolds as she shares, “I’ve been with my partner and boyfriend for seven years, and we have two small children together. I’ve recently brought up the fact that we should get married and actually have one bank account and do everything together, and he says that he doesn’t want to do that.” This admission sets the stage for a broader discourse on the complexities of modern partnerships, the meaning of marriage and the challenges of cohabitation.

Ramsey's co-host, Dr. John Delony, breaks down to her what he is saying, “He’s telling you he went all in on somebody once and got hurt…and he’s looking at you after seven years and two children and saying you’re not worth that.” A harsh reality, but something the caller needed to hear.

The response to Elizabeth’s situation is both reflective and direct, shedding light on the nuanced dynamics at play. Ramsey said, "Why does he think he's not married now? He's got everything that has to do with marriage right now. He gets sick, he wants you to make him chicken soup right?” His questions highlight the inherent contradictions and emotional toll of a relationship marred by an imbalance in commitment and expectations.

The conversation pivots as Ramsey and his co-host delve into the societal shift towards cohabitation, underscored by statistics and personal anecdotes. They discuss the increasing prevalence of cohabitation among young adults, noting, “More people now live together than are married…What people don’t grasp is the unintended consequences legally, financially, relationally that builds up in these situations.” This observation speaks to a broader trend of evolving relationship norms and the legal and financial implications that many couples face.

Recent trends indicate a significant shift in relationship norms, with cohabitation on the rise among young adults and marriage rates in decline. This movement towards more fluid living arrangements prompts a necessary discussion on the implications of cohabitation versus marriage. According to the Pew Research Center, the majority of Americans now find cohabitation acceptable, even without plans for marriage. This acceptance speaks volumes about changing societal values. However, many still recognize the societal benefits of marriage, suggesting a complex interplay between tradition and evolving norms.

Married adults report higher levels of satisfaction and trust within their relationships compared to those cohabiting. This distinction underscores the nuanced differences in relationship dynamics and raises important questions about the long-term implications of these trends.

Central to Ramsey’s advice is the notion of self-worth and empowerment, particularly in the face of uncertainty and fear. He encourages Elizabeth, “I think you are worth going all in on. And I think you’re worth having a home where two people want to do life together and create a safe space to raise these two beautiful little babies.” This affirmation serves as a beacon of hope, urging Elizabeth to envision a future grounded in mutual respect, shared goals and financial independence.

Elizabeth’s concerns about financial security and the prospect of navigating life alone echo a common anxiety among those contemplating significant life changes. Ramsey’s counsel offers a roadmap for reclaiming autonomy and making informed decisions from a position of strength rather than fear.

Not everyone is keen on getting married, and for many, this choice fits their lifestyle perfectly, especially when the relationship doesn’t involve shared financial responsibilities or children. However, when assets and children come into the picture, the situation gets more complex.  In such cases, talking to a financial adviser can be a smart move. 

Financial advisers can offer straightforward advice on handling shared finances, safeguarding assets and making sure children are provided for, even without the legal framework of marriage. This step can make a big difference in planning for the future, ensuring that both partners and any children involved have their interests protected and can navigate financial decisions with more confidence and clarity.

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*This information is not financial advice, and personalized guidance from a financial adviser is recommended for making well-informed decisions.

Jeannine Mancini has written about personal finance and investment for the past 13 years in a variety of publications including Zacks, The Nest and eHow. She is not a licensed financial adviser, and the content herein is for information purposes only and is not, and does not constitute or intend to constitute, investment advice or any investment service. While Mancini believes the information contained herein is reliable and derived from reliable sources, there is no representation, warranty or undertaking, stated or implied, as to the accuracy or completeness of the information.