'Where Were They When I Needed Help?' Broke Boomers Are Moving In With Their Adult Children – It's Called The 'Reverse Boomerang Effect,' And Millennials Are Not Happy About It

Lars, a college instructor, is at the forefront of an increasingly common trend: becoming the caregiver for her financially unprepared boomer parents. The narrative, unfolding through a series of candid TikTok videos, sheds light on the intricate dance between generational support and financial readiness. 

The video begins, "Hi, I'm Lars, and I am the only child of boomers who did not save for retirement." In the caption, she welcomes advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation and hashtagged the post "#brokeboomers and #parentsmovingin.

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“They can no longer sustain the lifestyle they've lived for 50-plus years and are being forced to move in with me across the country,” Lars said, capturing the attention of 2.6 million viewers and sparking a conversation on social media.

Lars's personal story complicates the narrative, revealing the additional layer of emotional and financial strain stemming from her parents’ previous lack of support over her sexuality and the minimal financial aid during her critical life stages. Now, as a homeowner with her partner, Lars becomes part of the growing demographic of adults incorporating their aging parents into their households — a situation the Pew Research Center notes has seen an uptick in multigenerational living arrangements.

According to Fox Business, the trend of 25- to 34-year-olds moving back in with their parents has seen a notable increase since 2021, alongside a parallel, yet reverse, trend referred to as “reverse boomerang.” The data indicates that the percentage of multigenerational households led by people aged 25 to 34 has risen to 9%, marking a 3% increase from the 6% reported in 2001.

Lars voices the heart of the dilemma, saying, “I feel like I'm the only person who can help them and is going to help them. But at the same time, where were they when I needed help?” This encapsulates the dual nature of her decision — rooted in both familial duty and unresolved past grievances.

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Lars’s journey with her parents' financial instability traces back a decade to when her father’s unemployment sparked the initial concerns. Her parents resisted her efforts to encourage them to downsize, ultimately leading to a critical juncture where Lars ceased financial support, offering them a place in her own home instead. Her father’s sigh of relief upon accepting the offer belies the complexity of the emotions involved in this transition.

While Lars feels obligated to support her parents because she's their only child, users in the comments feel otherwise. The most-liked comment on the post was “No is a complete sentence,” with over 54,000 likes. Countless comments reiterated this, urging Lars to prioritize herself and tell her parents "no." Users insist her parents moving in will ruin her relationship and everything she's achieved. 

Despite reports showing that boomers own $90 trillion of the nation’s wealth, a significant gap in retirement readiness exists among the generation. Data from the Federal Reserve highlights the disparity: 43% of 55- to 64-year-olds had no retirement savings in 2022, and 30% of those older than 65 were economically insecure, earning less than $27,180 for a single person.

For those navigating similar challenges, it’s essential to recognize that options exist. A suggestion from Lars’s online community highlights one such path: Her parents could sell their home and downsize to a more affordable living situation, investing the proceeds into a high-yield savings account. This strategy not only secures a stable financial future but also mitigates the immediate pressure on Lars to accommodate them in her home. It’s a solution that respects both Lars’s autonomy and her parents’ need for security in their retirement years.

Consulting a financial advisor can provide invaluable guidance during these complex situations. Financial advisers are equipped to offer personalized strategies that can optimize savings, manage debt and plan for long-term care needs. Engaging with a professional can illuminate a path forward that balances financial viability with emotional well-being. The perks of such consultations include tailored advice, peace of mind and a structured plan to navigate the shifting financial responsibilities between generations. In addressing the challenges of multigenerational living and retirement planning, seeking expert advice can be a crucial step in securing a stable future for all involved.

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*This information is not financial advice, and personalized guidance from a financial adviser is recommended for making well-informed decisions.

Jeannine Mancini has written about personal finance and investment for the past 13 years in a variety of publications including Zacks, The Nest and eHow. She is not a licensed financial adviser, and the content herein is for information purposes only and is not, and does not constitute or intend to constitute, investment advice or any investment service. While Mancini believes the information contained herein is reliable and derived from reliable sources, there is no representation, warranty or undertaking, stated or implied, as to the accuracy or completeness of the information.