A recent episode of "The Ramsey Show" featured a caller, Sarah, discussing a harrowing story of financial infidelity. Before Sarah was married, she had amassed a net worth of $1 million. Due to vast differences in her and her (now) husband's net worth, they signed a prenuptial agreement in which he stated that his net worth was $160,000.
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During their marriage, Sarah started to notice discrepancies in their finances. When confronting her husband, he always assured her everything was fine. After about three years of marriage, Sarah expressed that a particular event led her to put more pressure on him about their finances. That's when he finally admitted to stealing from her.
Determined to get to the bottom of it, Sarah demanded access to her husband's business accounts. That's when the full extent of his betrayal became clear. Her husband had stolen $286,000 from her accounts – money that was legally protected by their prenuptial agreement. To make matters worse, Sarah discovered that her husband had lied on the prenuptial, falsely claiming that his $160,000 net worth was free and clear when it was tied up in loans and lines of credit.
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Sarah was in shock. Her husband had drained their savings, leaving only two months of emergency funds, and had also accumulated $130,000 in personal debt. To complicate matters further, the couple has two young children under two, making Sarah's decisions even more difficult.
Rachel Cruze, co-host of "The Ramsey Show," expressed concern for the deceit Sarah had faced for years. She likened the betrayal to financial infidelity, equating it to the emotional damage of an affair. “You’re married to a liar,” Cruze said bluntly. “There’s something wrong. Deeply, deeply, deeply wrong with him.”
Cruze then laid it all out and told Sarah she needed to see a lawyer and start separating their finances immediately. Sarah revealed that she had already started that process and was working on securing a postnuptial agreement that would legally separate their debts and assets, ensuring that her husband's financial irresponsibility would not jeopardize her and her children's future. The post-nup would reaffirm that his debts were his alone and that if she provided him with financial assistance, it would be repaid in full.
Despite the overwhelming betrayal, Sarah is hesitant to leave the marriage. "We have two very small children," she said. "And I know the statistics about growing up in a home with a broken household. I don’t want that for my children either. They’re just so young."
Cruze advised Sarah to start counseling if she wants to make the marriage work and said her husband would need to show a serious change of habit if she planned to stay with him.
While Sarah's story may have unique circumstances, financial infidelity is unfortunately common, particularly in younger generations. A recent study from Bankrate found that more than 40% of U.S. adults who are married or living together have kept financial secrets from their partners.
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"It's not always easy to talk about money, but it's so important," says Bankrate's senior industry analyst Ted Rossman. "Financial secrets can take on a life of their own and undermine the relationship. In years of studying this, we've often found that the breach of trust has a greater impact than the dollars and cents. If you have a secret spending habit or undisclosed debt or a credit card or bank account that your spouse doesn't know about, I think it's best to come clean right away."
If you’re dealing with financial deception or safeguarding your assets in a marriage, consulting a financial advisor can provide valuable guidance to secure your financial future and protect your interests.
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