This call to the Dave Ramsey Show starts with a 21-year-old woman ready to graduate with a finance degree and plans to start a life with her boyfriend in Texas.
Her boyfriend has a friend there who can offer him work and he's been suggesting they could move together for a fresh start. But there's one major issue – her boyfriend, who's not in school and works only 20 hours a week as a personal trainer, doesn't believe his finances are her business.
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Dave Ramsey's response? "Warning, warning, warning!" he says, laughing but totally serious. "I work 20 hours a week and my money is none of your business – warning, warning, warning! The bells are going off in your head so loud that you can hardly speak around them, aren't they?" Ramsey points out all the red flags bluntly, saying what many people might think but hesitate to say out loud.
Ramsey's got his alarms blaring because, from where he's sitting, this isn't just about whether they'll have the cash for a move. He's pointing out that when discussing building a life together, finances, work ethic and trust are all things you want lined up before making big commitments. He says the boyfriend's "I work 20 hours a week" attitude doesn't exactly scream stability.
Ramsey's advice is clear: don't uproot your life for someone unwilling to meet you halfway. "You're building your life around somebody you're not married to," he warns her, adding that there's no true commitment here – especially if her boyfriend's financial status is "none of her business." Ramsey's stance is that a real partner would be transparent about his plans and finances, especially if they are planning to move together.
More people are moving in together these days. Last year, a record 11 percent of unmarried Americans aged 18 to 24 were living with a partner, according to the latest U.S. Census Bureau figures. So, couples need to communicate and be on the same page – especially if they're unmarried and have no legal obligation to each other.
The caller also mentions that she might not find someone else who treats her "so wonderfully." At this point, Ramsey cuts in with a reality check: "If he was working 60 hours a week, making $100,000 a year, showering you with gifts and asking you to marry him, that's treating you wonderfully. Not ‘come over here so I can lean on you because I don't work much.'"
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Ramsey and his co-host expand on this, likening it to advice for a younger sister. If this caller were 30 and advising her 21-year-old sister, would she tell her to move for a guy who doesn't work full-time and isn't ready to share financial responsibilities? Not a chance.
Ramsey leaves her with a proverb as a final piece of advice: "A wise person sees danger ahead and avoids it, but a foolish person keeps going and gets into trouble."
Ramsey urges her to keep her options open and remember that there are plenty of potential partners out there who not only are nice but also bring the financial responsibility and work ethic she deserves.
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