My 85-Year-Old Mother Has Dementia And Loves Going To The Casino – Suze Orman Advises On How To Handle The Situation

On a recent episode of Women & Money, financial expert Suze Orman tackled a heartfelt question from Sabrina, a listener grappling with a challenging situation involving her 85-year-old mother. The question raised concerns about protecting elderly parents with dementia, particularly when they enjoy activities like gambling or other activities that carry financial risks. 

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Here's how Orman broke down the problem and offered actionable advice.

Sabrina shared that her mother, who has dementia, enjoys visiting casinos. Recently, her mother went with a group and needed help from someone to withdraw money from an ATM. The fact that someone knew her mother's PIN alarmed Sabrina and her brother, raising concerns about financial exploitation.

Additionally, Sabrina revealed she had removed $25,000 from her mother's account, leaving $5,000 to limit potential losses – but she's worried she made a mistake and didn't leave her mother with enough money, considering her gambling habits.

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She had her mother's permission to keep the money safe for her future assisted living costs, but she was unsure how to manage it moving forward. Her first thought was a high-yield savings account, but she also wanted to avoid any tax implications of putting the money in her name. 

Orman reassured Sabrina, emphasizing that her proactive approach was wise. "Don't fear that you made a mistake," Orman said. "If anything, I would have told you to take out probably even more than that." 

She explained that removing significant funds was a protective measure, ensuring the money could be used for necessary expenses rather than being gambled away.

Orman suggested leaving her mother only $1,000 in the account and providing additional funds as needed. This approach limits risks while still allowing her mother to enjoy activities like visiting the casino. "She obviously gets enjoyment out of doing that," Orman acknowledged, emphasizing the importance of maintaining her mother's quality of life.

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To manage the withdrawn funds, Orman recommended opening a joint high-yield savings account in Sabrina's and her mother's names. This solution keeps the money accessible for her mother's future needs while simplifying tax implications. Since the account would use her mother's tax ID, it minimizes Sabrina's tax liability.

Additionally, Orman stressed the importance of controlling access. "You don’t give her checks; you don’t give her an ATM or debit card. She cannot access the money," Orman advised. 

While protecting elderly parents is crucial, Orman noted that preserving their sense of independence and happiness is equally important. She shared an anecdote about her mother, who enjoyed daily outings to Hooters with her driver. When Orman restricted this activity for financial reasons, her mother became deeply upset. Over time, they struck a balance that allowed her mother to enjoy life without compromising financial security.

For Sabrina's mother, Orman recommended allocating a specific amount – such as $250 a week or month, whatever fits her budget – for casino visits. This allowance helps safeguard against excessive spending while ensuring her mother continues to find joy in her favorite pastime.

Orman's guidance underscores a critical lesson: protecting elderly parents with dementia requires careful financial planning, clear boundaries and empathy. By managing access to funds and setting limits, caregivers can safeguard their loved ones’ financial well-being without sacrificing what makes them happy.

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