'He Said I Will Figure It Out After He Dies' - Married 26 Years And Husband Refuses To Share Finances With His Wife, 'Ramsey Show' Hosts React

On a recent episode of "The Ramsey Show," a caller named Joslin from Lubbock, Texas, shared a difficult and complex financial and marital situation. Joslin, who has been married for 26 years, explained that her husband, a software developer, has taken full control of the household finances — leaving her in the dark about their financial situation.

Joslin, a stay-at-home mom for 20 years, said the arrangement initially worked well. She managed the home and raised their three sons, now teenagers, while her husband handled the finances. However, things shifted about eight years ago when Joslin began to feel that her husband was emotionally and financially withdrawing from the marriage.

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"I don't know how much he makes anymore, and he doesn't even ask me to sign the tax return," Joslin said. She added that during the COVID-19 pandemic, when her husband was hospitalized, he refused to give her the password to his laptop to pay bills — even under such dire circumstances. When she raised her concerns about still not having access to their finances after he recovered, his response was: "You'll figure it out after I die."

Lack of Access and Control

Joslin's situation reflects a deeper issue of financial and emotional control. Despite being married for more than two decades, Joslin said she feels like a "married single mom," managing the household and raising their children largely on her own.

Rachel Cruze, a co-host on "The Ramsey Show," expressed concern about the level of financial control Joslin's husband has over her. "My worry is that he has a level of control and power over you that is so scary and unhealthy where you have no options or choices," Cruze said.

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Cruze emphasized that Joslin's lack of financial access puts her in a vulnerable position. Cruze advised Joslin to take action and tell her husband: "You either give me full access to our money, or there's going to be a more intense step of something else."

Emotional Disconnect and Uncertainty

Cruze said that the financial divide is a symptom of a larger emotional disconnect within the marriage. Joslin shared that her husband is passive and quiet, avoiding conflict and leaving most household decisions to her. Even when presented with the option of therapy to address their issues, Joslin admitted that she isn't sure if she wants to pursue it.

Jade Warshaw, another co-host, suggested that Joslin's hesitation might stem from the emotional burden she's been carrying for years. "It's almost like it creates more work for you to work through," Warshaw said, acknowledging the emotional toll therapy can bring.

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Despite the uncertainty, Cruze encouraged Joslin to focus on regaining financial independence as a starting point. "You have to have access to the money," Cruze advised. "That needs to be your first step."

Moving Toward Independence

Joslin's story highlights the importance of financial transparency and equality in a marriage. Cruze and Warshaw advised her to work toward securing financial access and to seek individual counseling to help navigate her emotions and next steps.

While Joslin's path forward remains uncertain, the advice from "The Ramsey Show" hosts focused on empowering her to reclaim control over her financial and personal life — whether that means rebuilding the marriage or preparing for a future on her own.

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