The Pain of Letting Go: 'I Lost It All' — A Trader's Story Through the Crypto Downturn

The Emotional Battle Within the Financial Markets

Humans are creatures of survival. Thousands of years ago, our ancestors fought daily for food, water, and shelter—essentials that determined life or death. Our brains became hardwired to protect these resources, and when they were taken away, the emotional pain was immense—far greater than the joy of obtaining them.

Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky coined this phenomenon as loss aversion—a principle in behavioral economics showing that the emotional impact of losing money is about twice as powerful as the joy of gaining it. This survival instinct still runs through us, hardwired from ancient times. And when it bleeds into the financial markets—where rational decision-making is crucial—it can become dangerous.

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It only takes one irrational moment to destroy weeks, months, even years of progress. I've been there.

The Early Days: Curiosity Over Cash

I entered the markets in 2019–2020, during the chaos of COVID. But money wasn't what drew me in. It was the game.

Before I ever looked at charts or watched economic news, I was trading items in video games—"Team Fortress 2," and "Counter Strike." I'd challenge myself to start with something small and trade my way up to a higher-value item. Sometimes I'd win, sometimes I'd lose, but it built a foundation. I loved the strategy behind it, the negotiation, the edge you could find.

When I discovered financial markets, it felt like an extension of that. Only this time, the stakes were real.

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Early Success… and the Trap It Set

Like many during that time, I got lucky early on. The markets were in a historic bull run. I made gains, consistently. That consistency gave me a false sense of security. Without knowing it, I was programming my brain to believe I'd always win. I didn't care about volatility. I didn't care about risk. I didn't even have a system.

I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn't.

When Reality Hit

The 2021–2022 inflation crisis was the wake-up call.

I was heavily involved in crypto and had entered Ethereum early. As the markets started to unravel, the pain of losing was far more intense than any of the highs I felt from winning. I began holding onto positions, not because it made sense, but because I couldn't accept being wrong. I didn't want to admit that the market had changed. I didn't want to let go of the identity I built during the bull run.

And that's the danger of trading without emotional discipline. The market doesn't care how much conviction you have. It doesn't care about your feelings or how badly you want to be right. If you don't adapt, it will punish you.

I watched a large portion of my gains disappear because I held, and held, and held. Not because I had a plan—but because I was emotionally attached.

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The Lesson

So what's the takeaway?

You’re human. You’re going to make mistakes. You're going to have moments where you believe so deeply in a setup or investment that you ignore the warning signs. That's okay—if you have a framework that keeps you grounded.

Ask yourself:

• Has something fundamentally changed?
• Is my original thesis still valid, and if it's not, do I have a pre-determined risk?
• What does the data say, not my emotions?

And above all, manage your risk. You’re going to be wrong. That's guaranteed. But if you have a systematic way to protect your capital when you are, you get to survive. You get to fight another day.

The emotional battle in the markets is real. But the ones who win aren't the ones who avoid emotions—they’re the ones who understand them, and learn to act in spite of them.

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