Warren Buffett Had An Unconventional First Marriage — He Lived With Another Woman, And The Trio Sent Out Christmas Cards Every Year: 'Susie Put Me Together And Astrid Keeps Me Together'

Warren Buffett’s marital life, often described as unconventional, diverges significantly from his well-known financial conservatism, as detailed in “The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life.” Authored by Alice Schroeder and covered in a 2008 Time magazine article, the biography offers an exploration of Buffett’s life, covering both finance and emotions.

While enduring on paper from 1952 until she died in 2004, Buffett’s marriage to Susan Thompson was anything but conventional. Susan’s decision to move to San Francisco to pursue singing marked a pivotal change in their relationship. Despite the physical distance, their bond remained, characterized by extensive phone conversations and an unconventional, understanding of each other’s lives.

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Before leaving, Susan Buffett reportedly reached out to several women she knew from a cocktail bar where she performed, requesting them to look after her husband. Among these women was Astrid Menks, a waitress. Susan Buffett asked Menks to cook for Warren and assist in his care during her absence.

Menks moved in with Buffett, and together with his wife, they formed a unique trio. Susan and Astrid reportedly remained close friends. This was exemplified by their joint Christmas cards signed "Warren, Susie and Astrid.” 

Buffett captured the essence of his relationships with both women, stating in his biography, “Susie put me together, and Astrid keeps me together.” Susan’s understanding of Buffett’s need for love and absence of criticism played a crucial role in their dynamic.

The biography also sheds light on the more vulnerable aspects of Buffett’s persona. Despite his immense success and seemingly unflappable demeanor in business, he was an emotionally needy husband and, at times, an absentee father. His relationship with his parents, especially the complex one with his mother, who was harsh yet a model housewife in public, deeply affected him. Buffett’s emotional side was significantly shaped by these early experiences, influencing his later relationships. 

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Schroeder portrays Buffett’s dependence on several women who provided him with emotional support and care throughout his life. Besides Susan and Astrid, figures like Sharon Osberg, Buffett's bridge partner, financial journalist Carol Loomis and former Washington Post publisher the late Katharine Graham played crucial roles in supporting Buffett beyond business. These relationships paint a picture of Buffett not just as a business magnate but as a man seeking connection and care in his personal life. 

Business Insider reported that in 2008, Buffett claimed the greatest mistake of his life was letting Susan go. 

“It was preventable," Buffett told Schroeder. "It was definitely 95% my fault. … I just wasn’t attuned enough to her, and she’d always been perfectly attuned to me. She kept me together for a lot of years. … It shouldn’t have happened.”

The book also details how Buffett coped with Susan’s illness, highlighting his deep love and fear of losing her. Despite his general avoidance of medical discussions, Buffett was by Susan’s side throughout her cancer treatment, showing a side of him that contrasts with his public image. His inability to attend Susan’s funeral, overwhelmed by grief, further showcased the depth of his vulnerability.

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