Five Stocks for John Gotti to Fuggedabout

Nine years ago today, John Gotti, the last of the truly great media-loving mob bosses passed away. He did so not in a blaze of glory or a hail of gunfire, but of cancer while in prison — no way for the good man to go out. With Mr. Gotti and his lifestyle in mind, here are five stocks for the discerning mobster to consider. Cars Every wiseguy drives a Cadillac, right? It's like the gang colors for Italian-Americans employed by the Waste Management. Who makes Cadillacs? GM Food While Dominos Pizza DPZ may not be the most glamorous Italian-themed food, it gets the job done. They also deliver, offer some pretty awesome breadsticks, and have put together a really nice corporate renewal plan the last year or so. Wire Taps Every wiseguy needs to be wise about cell phone technology and wiretapping technology. Nokia NOK gives you access to both. Safe House Mobsters need more than just a palace to share with the wife and condos to share with the mistress(es). They also need a safe house to camp out in when the heat gets too high. The best you might do here is a housing ETF, iShares Dow Jones U.S. Real Estate IYR. You think a mobster is going to give you the name of his realtor? This lets you get in on the action without giving too much away. Cash to Go The last thing every aspiring Gotti needs is access to liquid assets, in particular cash. In America, dollars makes the most sense. A bullish dollar ETF UUP gives you access to dollars without putting you directly against only one other currency, like your standard forex trades do.