Mental Mindfulness Matters: Do April Showers Always Bring May Flowers?

We have all heard famous quotes of adversity meant to lead us to a better life after tragedy, such as “If it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger”. If we have learned anything in the last year, it is that life is not predictable. Does everything that doesn’t kill you, really make you stronger? I believe it can, but only with finding healthy ways to heal. 

What is the equation for a balanced life? Has anyone figured it out? I know I have not. Being that May is Mental Health Awareness month, I thought I would share lessons learned from attempting to heal alone through work and life on the road. My E.B.C. life (events before COVID-19 )  was filled with glamorous travel to help build FinTech communities, Top-Golf Happy Hours, hackathons at prestigious banks and universities alike. A year without “in-person” events due to COVID-19 has been really tough for me. In March of 2020 I was invited speak at United Nations 56th Commission Status of Women (CSW) “The Power of Digital Media and Achieving Gender Equality” sponsored by the Muslim American Leadership Alliance (MALA) which was delayed until moving it virtually in March of 2021. This was the first of many “COVID-Cancelled” events in 2020. It was the inertia that began an uninvited game of dominos, resulting in a year of events cancelled or turned virtual due to COVID-19. Reviving this event was exhilarating; even if still virtual, it was the beginning of restarting our “virtual to in-person” event life, which I have missed dearly.

For the United Nations Womens CSW panel, I was honored to speak alongside other women warriors of change with ​Mariya Taher, Co-founder of Sahiyo, Sali Mahgoub, Deputy Director of the Obama Foundation, and moderated by MALA CXO Ahmed Flex Omar. Speaking on The United Nations CSW panel was a reminder that life is not COVID-Cancelled, but was merely delayed. The United Nations CSW initiative began in 1946, and has helped to bring attention to women’s rights, documenting their stories, and working toward gender equality every day since. Hearing Mariya and Sali share how they reacted to the pandemic illuminated how COVID-19 has affected us all differently. COVID-19 has left a global imprint from impacting our mental health, jobs, homes, and small businesses. 

On our United Nations Women CSW panel, Mariya and Sali shared their stories with a course of action for change, even amid a pandemic. Everyone on the panel had a different mission. For example, Mariya co-founded Sahiyo which brings awareness to Female Genital Mutilation and Cutting (FGMC) in Asian communities through dialouge, education, and community outreach. She spoke about the importance of storytelling in spreading awareness of FGMC globally, ideas on ways to effectively share stories virtually, and tips on dealing with users posting hateful content. Mariya emphasized “the ripple effects that storytelling has on spreading your mission”. 

Meanwhile, Sali shared her experience working at the Obama Foundation as Deputy Director and goals to create new Global leaders. One of the programs she managed last year was a young leaders program in Africa that had pivoted in an instant to a completely digital model. The Obama Foundation did not cancel their programs in 2020, but tested out different approaches to the virtual experience. Sali stated that “once you join the Obama Foundation Family, it is expected to take the lessons learned back to their community. The program is a way to activate young leaders''. It was enlightening to hear other professionals discuss how to create change virtually amid COVID-19 and the lessons learned along the way. 

As for my journey, ever since I can remember, I was torn between art and business. At the age of 6, I started with lemonade stands. Before ever attending any formal business education, I understood the importance of location. I recall switching my location at least 3 times my first week, until I found the pristine location. I set up my stand at the intersection next to the “new house building zone” in my neighborhood. Day one in that location, I ran into my first entrepreneurial problem, the demand outweighed my supply! I decided to increase the price from $0.25 to $.50 a cup and began offering $5.00 pitchers overnight (30 years ago). Growing up in MI, this business was obviously seasonal, but was the first of many childhood entrepreneurial adventures. From collecting cans, shoveling snow, raking leaves, to selling stress balloons and friendship bracelets, I must admit some of the ventures failed. I read as much as I questioned following the rules to the letter. I eagerly looked for loopholes or opportunities in the puzzle. I suspect my tenacious curiosity is why I strive for FinTech Fame instead of becoming an artist. 

Well, truth be told, I did not have the choice to become an artist. I was sent to a small private business school in Michigan called Northwood University, and they only had one art class available at the time. It began in the first trimester with FIN 101 and other business courses, no general education and only one science course in the entire program. I have always admired Robert Frost’s vision for the road less traveled and can be seen before I entered the FinTech world. 

Post college, after 4 different internships, I taught english in South Korea, and worked in marketing research in a qualitative and quantitative role. After these roles, I worked in IT Staffing on the 98th floor of the Sears Tower and then for Jason Henrichs and The Kinetic Group. Working for Jason and learning FinTech was when my true career dream was born. 

In 2014 Jason spoke at Technori’s “Future of FinTech '' event and whispers for him to lead the creation of Chicago’s FinTEx began. A local group of FinTech friends met every Tuesday with Jason leading the charge and the Harvard Cluster methodology in mind. After helping to launch FinTEx, Yodlee recruited me to manage the Midwest and NYC FinTech markets as a Developer Evangelist. While at Yodlee, my first new market was Boston. We sponsored beer and pizza for Boston FinTech, which allowed me the pleasure of meeting Sarah Biller and Doug Nelson. 

The intersection where my career began to really take off in tandem when my marriage ended. Growing up in an Irish Catholic family, divorce was synonymous with failure. I know now staying in  a miserable situation is a failure, but hindsight is always 20/20. I threw myself into my job, helping others smile, and traveling week in and out. FinTech was thriving; I was traveling the world from US hot spots like Silicon Valley to European FinTech hubs. I partnered with Peter Oakes of FinTech Ireland and hosted events in London, Glasglow and Dublin and almost a trip to Australia but the pandemic hit. While it looked perfect to the observer as I treated myself to extravagant sailing vacations and smiled in all the pictures, truthfully I was not always present. Most of the time traveling, I stayed on the sidelines with my playlists and books as a shield rather than healing. 

Over the last year, I have enjoyed time for reading to relax and a break from travel, but not as much as I missed seeing FinTech friends and collaborating on ideas “in-person”. Recently, I began to reread a book gifted to me by a FinTech friend called “Solve for Happy” by Mo Gawdat. The book foretells that Mo Gawdat was also a bit of a bookworm growing up, and he wrote “Whenever life turned tough, I read.” Personally, I have been reading everything from old college marketing textbooks, the “Chronicles of Narnia”, to “The Wealthy Barber”. I even raided my Dad’s old office and am now reading his journals for clues to the key to happiness. It has not swayed the pendulum toward happiness, just added more theories. 

As mentioned on the panel, other than losing my father at a young age, my childhood was similar to “The Wonder Years”. Although I am blessed to have a great support network, from a large family to FinTech friends around the world, sadness still found me. Truth is, I never fully dealt with my divorce, but just worked to see how “strong” I could be working through it. I lived for my job, Fintech friends and hopes of new FinTech innovations, not always for myself. The pandemic has forced me to revisit old wounds that never fully healed. While I dream of a world where we don’t see color, gender, or need “buzz words” to inspire us to do the right thing...that is not the world we live in yet. I’m thankful to have the experience of working with organizations like MALA who are also dedicated to creating this future through cultural exchange, mentorship, storytelling, and community healing. 

For May’s Mental Health awareness month, I decided to take a moment and assess if I was really truly happy in my life? My FinTech friend, Steven Khuong, CEO at Curacubby reached out to me recently. He said, "Wellness check-in. You good? Wanted to make sure you are alive and thriving!" This reminded me that while living in the present moment is certainly a requisite for stable mental health, the process of thriving shouldn't be left out of the equation. Happiness is not just a feeling, it's a system. It's work, gratitude, and faith. In order to achieve my goal of bringing financial wellness to all, I need to start at home with myself first. I have taken a break from trying to read my way out as Mo Gowdat did in “How to solve for Happy”, and am looking to the experts. I recently joined the new virtual counseling fad with TalkSpace and look forward to what’s next. 

There are a number of ways to heal, but I encourage you to not wait. Start your journey today to “True North” and ensure you are in the moment, healing healthy, and working toward your dreams. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes. In the words of Frank Sinatra “The best is yet to come and won’t that be fine.”