Overcome Networking Fears: Here's A Tried-And-True Strategy For Smoother Interactions

Zinger Key Points
  • Extensive questioning enhances likability and desirability, leading to more second date invitations in speed dating.
  • Overcoming fear in approaching others leads to enjoyable and valuable interactions, as revealed in executive studies.

When engaging in initial conversations with new acquaintances, don't be so quick to list one's job title, education, and accomplishments. Research suggests that this approach may not be as effective as previously thought.

According to CNBC, citing a Harvard and Wharton study, students were partnered to solve brain-teasers. Some students were informed that their performance would be assessed solely based on the accuracy of their solutions. Others were judged on the impression they made.

The students had three communication options:

  • Saying, "Hey, can you give me any advice?"
  • Saying, "Hey, I hope you did well."
  • Saying nothing at all.

Predictably, students evaluated based on accuracy eagerly asked for advice. However, those rated on how good of an impression they made were less than half as likely to ask for help; they were afraid they wouldn’t look competent.

Yet when students were paired with a partner that was either neutral or asking them for advice, they had a higher opinion of the advice seeker. They figured that the person who asked for their advice must be quite clever — in part because it’s flattering to be asked for help.

In other words, people tend to think: "They were smart to ask for my advice because I am smart."

The findings align with a thesis found in the book "NEXT! The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work," by Joanne Lipman. Discussions with social psychologists shed light on the most effective means of forging connections. Asking for advice or seeking guidance, studies show, enhance the perception of one's intelligence.

Also Read: To Make A Real Connection, Asking 'How Are You?' Doesn't Work: Here's What Does

Here are a few important points on how to be an excellent advice seeker. 

  • Asking Questions. A separate research initiative conducted by Harvard delved into interactions where people were acquainting themselves with each other, including face-to-face speed dating encounters. Remarkably, participants displayed greater warmth toward individuals who posed a multitude of questions. Individuals who participated in speed-dating and asked a higher frequency of follow-up questions received more second date invitations.
  • Banishing Fear Of Approaching Others. Overcoming the inhibiting force of fear in approaching others holds paramount importance. Anxiety often stands as a significant barrier preventing individuals from initiating contact, which could potentially lead to significant professional connections, fresh opportunities, or even romantic interests. However, research findings challenge the validity of this fear. In a particular study, executives received directives to solicit advice from individuals they had lost contact with for years. Not only did they report receiving valuable guidance, but an astonishing 90% of them described the experience as enjoyable and fun.
  • New Acquaintances Aren't New Best Friends (Yet). It is imperative to maintain a realistic perspective regarding new acquaintances. The allure of forming an immediate close bond with an accomplished, renowned, or experienced individual can be tempting. However, it is essential to recognize that the initial encounter does not warrant immediate requests for mentorship or lengthy, research-intensive inquiries. 

Now Read: What Makes Us Happy In Life? This Is What A Harvard Study Says

This content was partially produced with the help of AI tools and was reviewed and published by Benzinga editors.

Image: Werner Heiber from Pixabay

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