A recent call on The Ramsey Show featured a woman who opened up to Dave Ramsey, admitting that despite filing for bankruptcy in 2019, she's back in debt again – to the tune of $118,000, excluding the mortgage – and her husband is completely unaware of the mess they're in.
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The Cost of Keeping up Appearances
“We are the poster child of trying to impress people,” the caller confessed. After buying a new house, she felt pressured to fill it with “nice things,” but this urge spiraled into financial chaos, leading her to open a staggering 18 credit cards to fund the lifestyle she thought they needed to maintain.
Her husband, who earns $35,000 a year, has no idea about their financial issues because, as she explained, “He doesn’t even have access [to our finances].” She takes home $125,000 annually, plus another $15,000 from a side hustle, yet her spending habits have left them drowning in debt – all because of a desire to project an image of success.
The caller revealed that the $118,000 in debt was spread across various sources. She owes $1,300 to the IRS and $9,500 is tied up in "pay in 4" payment plans like PayPal PYPL and Klarna. The biggest portion of the debt –$116,000 – comes from online personal loans through platforms like Prosper. On top of that, they have a $40,000 car loan and $5,500 in credit card balances.
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This complicated mix of debt sources shows how far the situation has spiraled out of control. The buildup of loans, payment plans and credit lines has resulted in an impossible financial mess. The car loan by itself is already a big problem and with all the high-interest loans and credit card debt added on top, it’s really hard for them to make any progress without making big changes.
The Wake-Up Call
Like always, Ramsey didn’t sugarcoat his advice. “You’re not going to be free or heal by yourself,” he told her. The key, according to Ramsey, is teamwork. “We need two things relationally: one is you go to him and say, ‘Honey, we’re in a mess – again – because I didn’t say no and you weren’t involved.'”
The caller admitted that her spending habits were deeply connected to her need for validation, saying, “It comes from my childhood,” but that didn’t sway Ramsey, who responded with his signature tough love: “You’re too dead gum old and rich income-wise to act like a 14-year-old girl that needs affirmation. It’s time to be a grown woman.”
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A Plan to Move Forward
To get out of this financial hole, Ramsey laid out a clear but intense plan: They need to budget every month together, sell everything that isn't necessary and dramatically cut their lifestyle. “Sell everything, everything not tied down,” he said. The goal is to adopt what Ramsey called “scorched earth” living for 18 months – essentially, to live as frugally as possible and funnel every available dollar toward paying off the debt.
One of the biggest takeaways was the importance of not trying to impress others. According to Ramsey, affluent people frequently get to the point where they “don't give a crap what anybody thinks.” And for this caller, ending the debt cycle requires learning to disregard the opinions of others. “You've got to practice not having nice stuff and have people see you,” added co-host Dr. John Delony, encouraging her to confront her fears about appearances.
Image via Shutterstock
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