A man called into “The Ramsey Show” with a confession: he’s been married for five years, and his wife has no idea that they’re secretly worth millions of dollars.
“I'm the saver and she's the spender,” the caller explained. “I have been working very hard, working my job and my business just to grow to where we are. And I am not sure whether I should ever disclose our net worth to her because I do not know how she's going to react.”
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Ramsey’s Response
Dave Ramsey, a personal finance expert and radio host known for his no-nonsense advice, was stunned and immediately asked, “Are you from another culture?” After the caller explained he was born in South Korea but raised in San Jose, California, by immigrant parents, Ramsey replied, “Because in Anglo-America, what you just described, as you probably realize, is pretty whacked.”
The caller insisted that he handles all the finances, and that keeping their wealth a secret is tied to his wife's spending habits. Ramsey wasn't buying it.
“You've been married to her for five years and sleeping with her for five years. She didn't know you got any money. That's deception,” Ramsey said bluntly.
Even as the caller tried to frame the issue around different money personalities—he's a minimalist, she's a free spirit—Ramsey brought it back to what he saw as the real problem: lying.
“Honey, you're not listening. You keep deflecting every time I bring this at you. You have deceived your wife actively. She's not going to be cool with that. You hear that?”
The caller admitted he feared his wife would be upset and possibly scared by the news. Ramsey said that fear is probably why he kept the secret in the first place.
“You're scared she's going to go spend all your money, which is the reason you lied to her in the first place,” he said.
Ramsey emphasized that a strong marriage is worth more than money. “I value a quality marriage and relationship going into my old age because we've now been married almost 43 years. I value that more than money. You don't. So I'm having trouble connecting with you on this.”
See Also: Are you rich? Here’s what Americans think you need to be considered wealthy.
Toward the end of the call, Ramsey acknowledged the cultural influence but didn't let the caller off the hook.
“I'm just the older guy sitting over here going, okay, you brought some culture into this where the guy's in charge and the lady doesn't have any say or any vote, especially if she's the spender. And so all of that combined with your nerd-like paranoia has led you to this deception.”
Ramsey’s final warning was that this is not going to end well. The longer he puts this off, the worse this is going to get. “This is a weird thing you've done and you need to own that.”
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