A Mother Asks, 'How Do You Explain Cutting Back To Kids?' Her Teenage Daughter Is Already Anxious And Afraid They're 'Poor'

When one mother turned to Reddit to ask how to explain budget cuts to her children, she touched a nerve. Her post, shared in r/budget, quickly drew support from parents who had been there and knew the emotional balancing act of telling kids, “We can’t afford that right now,” without sparking panic.

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Framing Reality Without Fear

The original poster, a mother of two—ages 7 and 13—explained, “We need to make some big changes in our non-essential spending and get very serious about paying off credit card debt.” She emphasized the challenge of talking to her kids about the changes, particularly her 13-year-old daughter who has “a lot of anxiety and is already concerned that we're ‘poor.’ We are not.”

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Living in an affluent community makes the gap more visible. “She can see the difference among her friends,” the mother added, noting they have a lower household income compared to their neighbors.

Commenters shared a wealth of ideas grounded in honesty, age-appropriate financial literacy, and a focus on building security, not fear.

Be Honest, But Calm

Many commenters stressed the importance of explaining the situation without transferring stress. “Kids blow things way out of proportion and usually blame themselves for everything that goes wrong,” one person wrote. “Sitting them down and explaining things on their level is super helpful and might even alleviate some anxiety.”

Another parent shared, “We told our son that we can’t buy frivolous stuff because we have debt to pay off. It used to be hard to say no, but now he says no for us.”

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Turn It Into A Teachable Moment

Several Redditors recommended giving children some control in the process. “Instead of saying, we are cutting these out, tell them we have $X to spend and ask them where should it be spent?” one commenter advised. Another suggested using real money: “Breaking costs down on paper compared to our income really helped.”

Multiple people highlighted the value of free entertainment. “We have library cards now!” one commenter offered, noting many libraries offer movies, TV shows and audiobooks. Others suggested family picnics, hikes, and game nights to replace more costly outings.

One dad described how they handled the conversation with their own children: “We just let them know that while we might spend less on fun items, we were committed to ensuring they did have some fun excursions… The cost of that though, was our food choices might be limited (cutting back on extravagant items at the grocery store) and maybe we could turn that into a positive by finding recipes for snacks they can help prep in advance.”

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Perspective Over Panic

Parent after parent emphasized that kids don't need every financial detail, but they do benefit from understanding the difference between wants and needs. “My father used to assure us we would always have enough money for everything we really need, but sometimes not enough for the things we want,” one person recalled.

As for the original poster, she thanked everyone in an edit, writing, “I really appreciate it, and hope this thread is also helpful to other families in the same position.”

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