After a tragic loss and a long legal battle, a woman named Ashley called into “The Ramsey Show” to ask what to do about a major disagreement with her long-time partner.
Two years ago, Ashley lost her baby due to what she said was “malpractice, mal negligence,” and after legal fees, she’s now receiving a little over half a million dollars from the $850,000 settlement.
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Ashley has been with her partner for a decade and they share three living children. Despite the length of the relationship and the family they've built, they're not married.
When asked why, Ashley admitted, “I’m not sure. That’s another problem that we’re having.” She said the reason they haven’t tied the knot is mostly on him: “He pretty much says like, we already are married, just not like in the books type of deal.”
That same partner now claims he deserves the majority of Ashley’s settlement money. His reasoning? “Because he provides daily,” Ashley explained, adding that he thinks that entitles him to a large portion of the money. But Ashley doesn't agree. She wants to invest the money long term for her children and for retirement.
“I also suffered blood damages to my personal body during that time of losing the baby,” she added, making it clear the pain and trauma were hers to carry.
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‘It’s Not His Money’
Dave Ramsey responded directly and firmly. “This argument and this confusion is brought on by the fact that you’re not married,” he said. “I don’t know how to coach you because I would never tell you to be where you are.”
Ramsey made it known that the money belongs to her. “I think it’s yours. I don’t think it’s got his name on it.”
Co-host Rachel Cruze agreed, calling the partner's behavior unhealthy. “That was like another [problem] guilt tripping me into ‘give me this because I do this,’ which really isn’t fair,” Ashley said. Cruze called it “a scorekeeping thing and very, very, very unhealthy.”
Ramsey put it plainly: “There is not a scenario where we’re not married and you get any of this.”
The Relationship May Not Be Healthy
Ashley admitted the relationship isn’t in a good place. Ramsey pointed out that the situation is revealing deeper problems. “You really need to look at this. It’s not working,” he told her.
Instead of sharing the money now, Ramsey encouraged Ashley to insist on counseling and have serious conversations about the future: “Sit down with a good marriage counselor and talk about how our relationship can be made better and how we get married. In the process of talking about that, honey, we’ll discuss when we’re married what we will do with our half million dollars.”
Cruze warned Ashley not to let marriage become a strategy for access to the money. “Make sure, though… that he doesn’t turn on some weird manipulative switch suddenly and be like, well, that’s my ticket into some of this money if I just marry her.”
Legal Confusion Over Their Deceased Son’s Estate
Ashley said a lawyer told her partner he had some right to the money because part of it is being set aside in their deceased son's estate. Ramsey quickly clarified: “Your son’s estate has to be managed for the heirs of your son,” he said. “Which would be his siblings, not his father.”
In closing, Ramsey warned Ashley: “If you give him a big chunk of this money out of this, I predict this is going to go sideways for you,” to which she agreed.
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